


I'm Only a Fool for You

by weebshit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Almost smut, Angst, Apologies, Arguments, Fighting, Iwa hates himself a lot, Lots of Angst, M/M, drunk oikawa, i can't write smut, it's not that graphic don't worry, literally just angst tbh i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 04:01:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6889156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weebshit/pseuds/weebshit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Oikawa comes home drunk at 3 in the morning and Iwaizumi has to face his mistakes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Only a Fool for You

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my, it happened... I wrote another fic. I'm not sure how I feel about this one. It was supposed to be based around the song idfc by blackbear because that song always reminded me of iwaoi and made me sob, but I feel like it kinda strayed away from it some, especially towards the end but eh, I tried.  
> Anyways thanks for reading, and I apologize if it's too angsty ahhh

He couldn’t even remember what they were fighting about anymore. It was hard to tell when one argument just bled into another, but it felt like they hadn’t been civil with each other in ages.

“Maybe if you weren’t such a god damn neat freak we wouldn’t be having this argument, Iwaizumi!”

There it was. That name he’d quickly grown to hate so much. He could remember one time in his life that Oikawa had called him by his surname. It had been the day they’d met. He thought back to that first day of kindergarten-- the day he’d met the boy he’d grow to call his best friend, and someday his boyfriend. Oikawa had decided right away that Iwaizumi didn’t quite “roll off the tongue right,” and from that day on opted to call him Iwa-chan instead, or as they had grown closer, Hajime. It was during fights like these that Iwaizumi yearned to hear that affectionate, ever familiar nickname he had grown so used to over the years.

That first day of kindergarten seemed like such a distant memory as he stared back at the infuriated face of present-day Oikawa. Oh right, that’s what they were fighting about-- the current state of the apartment. Everything was in disarray: Oikawa’s work clothes and shoes were scattered across the floor, the bed was left unmade, medals and awards from their (mostly Oikawa’s) high school achievements had been knocked off the shelves that lined their bedroom wall. Iwaizumi’s anger resurged upon seeing the mess and he clenched his fists at his side, not backing down from Oikawa.

“Well maybe if you picked up your shit once in awhile!” He shot back, punctuating his sentence by kicking one of Oikawa’s books across the floor. It was one of his textbooks from college at least-- if it had been one of his alien conspiracy books that he was far too obsessed with Iwaizumi was sure Oikawa would’ve choked him then and there.

“I’ve been _busy_! You know how work has been these past couple of weeks! You’ve been home a lot more than me so if it was bothering you that much maybe you should’ve just cleaned it up yourself instead of going off on me about it out of nowhere, asshole!”

Iwaizumi couldn’t think straight, all his logical thoughts just blurred out under the red haze of anger and he continued to shout at Oikawa.

“Oh I know, it would be so hard for you to pick up your god damn dirty underwear off the floor and put them in the wash. What, with your incredibly busy schedule and all.”

He was dripping with sarcasm, and in the moment it seemed Iwaizumi had lost all control of his tongue. His mind went back to that incident, the one he wished he’d never found out about, and he felt his throat get tighter. Iwaizumi was hurt. He wanted to wipe his mind clean of that memory, or go back in time to make things different-- to make things better. But he couldn’t, and in the end this was all his fault. If he had just controlled his temper, Oikawa would’ve never left that night. Even if it was his fault, it still hurt like hell, no matter how much Iwaizumi tried to play it down-- tried to make it seem like he didn’t care.

Some of the initial anger seemed to fade from Oikawa’s eyes. Maybe he had sensed everything that was running through Iwaizumi’s mind right now, or maybe he was just sick of fighting. Regardless, Oikawa took a step back and sighed. “Whatever. I’m sorry, I’ll pick it up later.” He mumbled, trying to push past Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi blocked the doorway. “Why can’t you do it now?” He asked, anger still evident in his voice, though something else laced his words. Pain? Regret?

“I was going to make myself something to eat, if that’s not a problem with _you_.” He replied in annoyance, trying once again to push past Iwaizumi.

“I’ll do it.” He decided, not letting Oikawa leave the room. He wasn’t even angry about the mess anymore-- he wasn’t sure he ever was to begin with. It seemed the only way he could talk to Oikawa these days was by picking a fight. “I’ll make us some food. Just please, clean this up.” His voice was significantly less harsh as he turned and began to walk out of the room.

“No! I said I’d do it later Iwaizumi! Just… leave me alone.” His voice dropped off as he finally pushed past Iwaizumi and back out into the living room. Oikawa paused for a moment before he headed to the door, throwing on his shoes and jacket. Iwaizumi felt his stomach sink and the wanted to do anything he could to get Oikawa to stay, but he was hardly in control of the words leaving his mouth right.

“What, now you’re gonna leave again and go get drunk off your ass and sleep with the first guy that approaches you?” It was a low blow and Iwaizumi knew it, but it was too late. He saw a look of regret flash across Oikawa’s face but it just as quickly faded to anger again.

“Fuck you.” He glared at Iwaizumi before stepping out the door and slamming it behind him.

Iwaizumi wanted to scream, he wanted to break something, he wanted to chase after Oikawa...he wanted to hold him again and tell him that he was sorry and that he forgives him. But he did nothing. He was frozen in place and everything just _hurt._

Because this was his fault and he couldn’t do anything to change it.

Oikawa had cheated and it was his fault. If he had never gotten angry with him that night, he would’ve never left. If he had just forgiven him-- had told him he was sorry and that it was okay and that he still loved him more than anything in the world… maybe it wouldn’t have happened again. But it did and everything hurt just as bad the second time around. But Iwaizumi had never been particularly good with expressing his emotions and everything just came out in anger. Anger that he couldn’t control; he’d go off on Oikawa for anything and everything and with every argument he pushed Oikawa further away.

He longed for the days they’d shared back in high school. When everything was so fresh. When Oikawa looked at him as if he were the most wonderful thing in the world. Back when nothing could get between them, and when their only worry was training hard for competitions. Iwaizumi craved what was so closely out of his reach.

Oikawa was still here… he was still with him, though he wouldn’t be for long if Iwaizumi continued to treat him this way. He’d wondered from the beginning why someone as brilliant as Oikawa would’ve ever chosen someone like him. He’d known from the time they were kids that Oikawa Tooru was something special. Even if he was ridiculously annoying and conceded to the point that Iwaizumi wanted to punch that stupid cocky grin off his face, he always knew Oikawa deserved better than him. Because how could someone as ordinary as Iwaizumi ever be meant for someone as extravagant and wonderful as Oikawa?

His heart hurt and he was torn between wanting to chase after the other male and wanting to curl up and sleep for the next week and a half. In the end, Iwaizumi decided eating something was his best option considering he had hardly done that at all today. He made himself a lazy dinner: a bowl of Ramen and some vegetables, and ate silently at their kitchen table, accompanied by no one but his own thoughts.

Unfortunately, said thoughts weren’t kind to him and Iwaizumi’s mind played over nothing but what he had done wrong. Every mistake he had made throughout these past couple months as their relationship had began to fall apart played through his mind until the point where he almost felt sick.

Iwaizumi washed his dishes and cleaned up the kitchen to look nicer than it had before, though his movements seemed forced, almost mechanical. He swept through their apartment, cleaning up every mess he came across, including the one in their bedroom that had sparked the argument of the evening. He was embarrassed with himself for having went off over what he now realized was such a small mess.

As least cleaning was some form of distraction from the current thoughts going through his mind. Where was Oikawa? Who was he with? Was he safe?

And as much as he tried to ignore it, the idea rung loud in clear in Iwaizumi’s head, drowning out all other thoughts he may have had: was Oikawa going to cheat again?

The thought was enough to make his stomach flip and before he knew it Iwaizumi was at the door with his shoes on, having all intentions of going to look for his boyfriend, but something stopped him. Was it pride? He had been the reason Oikawa left; he couldn’t just go find him now and beg for his forgiveness or force him to come home. If he were Oikawa he’d want to get away from himself as well.

With a sigh, Iwaizumi slipped back out of his shoes and with legs like lead, headed over to the couch and plopped down.

He thought of all the better times he’d shared with Oikawa, remembering their summer before college when they spent every waking moment together, wanting to take advantage of the time they had together before going to separate universities. He reveled in the fact that their relationship had lasted through four years of becoming long distance as they both studied so far away from each other. He remembered when they’d first moved into their apartment together how excited Oikawa had been. He could practically hear his voice now. _“Iwa-chan it’ll be like having a sleep over every night, forever!”_

Iwaizumi chuckled softly to himself at his boyfriend’s endearing, childlike behavior that he had been longing to see these past couple months and closed his eyes, feeling the tears already slipping down his cheeks. Why’d he have to go and ruin everything good in his life? If only he could control his temper. If only he had been there when Oikawa needed him. His body became wracked with silent sobs and Iwaizumi didn’t even try and stop it anymore.

Minutes rolled into hours until he found himself staring mindlessly at whatever TV channel had been left on all day, the tears having ceased enough to the point where Iwaizumi was just numb. He didn’t feel anything and he liked it better that way.

Iwaizumi wasn’t paying attention to whatever was flashing before him on the screen and he felt his eyelids grow heavy as he drifted off to sleep, his last coherent thought being how badly he wished Oikawa were here, safe in his arms.

 

 

When he finally awoke, it was to the sound of someone bursting through the door not-so-subtly and Iwaizumi immediately shot up, sighing in relief when it was only Oikawa. Well, obviously drunk off his ass Oikawa, but Oikawa nonetheless. And what time was it anyways? He looked to the digital clock on their cable box. 3:16 am. Wonderful.

Iwaizumi didn’t say anything, not even sure if Oikawa was aware of his presence in the room; he just seemed to be struggling to get his shoes off at the moment. He smiled a little as Oikawa nearly fell over trying to pull his left shoe off.

When he finally managed to complete the task at hand, Oikawa stumbled into the apartment the rest of the way and Iwaizumi realized just how drunk he must be. He wondered how he’d gotten home, praying it was by taxi.

“Oikawa.” He made known his presence and the drunken male quickly turned his attention over to Iwaizumi. “What are you doing?”

“Iwa-channnn! I’m jus’ comin’ home to my boyfriend.” He slurred, a permanent drunken grin having settled across his face as he stumbled over to the couch that Iwaizumi was currently still sprawled out across.

“Right. How drunk are you?” Clearly, very drunk, his subconscious muttered and he steadied Oikawa as he practically threw himself on top of the couch and Iwaizumi.

“I jus’ had a lil bit to drink, it’s no big deal Iwa-chan!” He giggled and leaned against his boyfriend as he helped him to not fall flat on his face.

Iwaizumi just sighed and sat up on the couch, leaving the majority of it for Oikawa to lay across however he pleased. Much to his surprise though Oikawa only scooted in closer to him, nuzzling himself against Iwaizumi’s side. Right, this was drunk Oikawa. That fact became nauseatingly obvious as Oikawa got closer and he could smell just how badly he reeked of alcohol. He was gonna have a hell of a hangover tomorrow that was for sure. Iwaizumi immediately felt bad again, knowing he was the reason Oikawa was in this state right now; but it was hard to stay sad around drunk Oikawa and he listened as his boyfriend went on about how wonderful his night had been.

“Iwa-chan it was so fun! Tetsu-chan was there and Kou-chan and Kei-chan and Tsukki-chan and all our friends!” He went on excitedly and Iwaizumi just looked away, too caught up in his own thoughts as he imagined Oikawa inviting everyone out as he fought back tears-- as he drank to forget how bad things were between the two of them right now. He felt incredibly guilty, even more so than before now that he had Oikawa here with him. An Oikawa who was happy: something Iwaizumi hadn’t seen in awhile. And it hurt because he knew it wasn’t real and that once he had sobered up, Oikawa would lose this glow he had; the glow he should never have lost in the first place.

“I wish you were there Iwa-chan, it would’ve been so much more fun.” He stated with a sigh as he laid his head on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. At least it had worked, Iwaizumi thought to himself; Oikawa had effectively forgotten his problems for the night. He knew the last thing he’d wanted when he had left the apartment was for Iwaizumi to be there, or anywhere near him for that matter and now he was all over him.

“Yeah… maybe next time, Tooru.” He mumbled softly, running his fingers through Oikawa’s hair because if he was gonna actually show him affection, Iwaizumi might as well take advantage of it, knowing he’d forget any of this in the morning regardless. He’d just missed having Oikawa so close to him like this.

Oikawa’s eyes closed and he relaxed under Iwazumi’s touch, sighing happily. “I felt so sad at first because everyone else brought their boyfriends and I didn’t know why mine didn’t come.” He mumbled, his words hardly recognizable with the way they were all slurred together, but Iwaizumi had heard. He felt his chest tighten because honestly, could he do anything other than make his boyfriend sad? It sure didn’t seem like it nowadays.

“An’ Tetsu-chan kept saying “Oikawa stop drinking so much!” He imitated Kuroo and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but chuckle a little at how bad it was. “An’ I said no because there was this really good drink there…” Oikawa trailed off as if he was searching for the right words to say. “I don’t remember what it was called but it was blue.” Of course it was. Iwaizumi grinned at Oikawa’s usual choice of the girliest drink the bar had to offer. “Anyways it was really good an’ I kept getting it and I didn’t know where they were coming from but then I found out some guy was buying them for me!” Oikawa looked appalled at having found out such a thing and Iwaizumi stomach immediately dropped, assuming the worst.

“He said to me, you’re really pretty, and I said I know.” Oikawa went on and as much as Iwaizumi wanted to laugh at how hilarious the retelling was, he couldn’t get past the sinking feeling in his stomach. Someone else had been buying his boyfriend drinks with all the wrong intentions and he hadn’t been there to stop him. He didn’t even want to know what had happened, but he was sure Oikawa would spill everything in this state.

“Iwa-chan he kept hitting on me!” Oikawa exclaimed, squirming in his position and effectively pulling Iwaizumi from his thoughts. “An’ I said, “Stop hitting on me or my boyfriend will hit on you! With his fists!” Iwaizumi couldn’t help but laugh at that one, slightly relieved that it seemed like nothing had happened between Oikawa and this man; yet he was angry that there had even been the option-- that someone had the nerve to hit on his boyfriend.

“Mmmhm, you tell him, Tooru.” He played along, his voice was low and still sounded pretty sleepy and Iwaizumi was sure he would crash again at any moment with Oikawa’s warm body pressed against his side.

“I did Iwa-chan, because I love you… an’ only you can have me.” He went on drunkenly and Iwaizumi felt his heart race faster because, dammit, he hadn’t heard Oikawa say something like that in so long. And the fact that he was drunk only made matters worse. Iwaizumi wanted to cry, but instead he wrapped his arms tighter around Oikawa, kissing his forehead gently.

“I love you too, Tooru. So much.” He mumbled, and it felt good just to get out the words he’d been wanting to say for months, even if Oikawa wouldn’t remember them in the morning.

While Iwaizumi was more than content with cuddling his overly drunk boyfriend, it seemed Oikawa had other ideas. Before he could realize what was happening Oikawa’s lips were on his own, and even if it was the definition of a drunk kiss-- his tongue was everywhere, he tasted of alcohol, and everything was sloppy-- Iwaizumi could help but kiss back, because how could he resist Oikawa? He did his best to try and slow down the overly aggressive and sloppy kiss Oikawa had began, but being in the state he was in, it was no use to try and stop him.

He knew he shouldn’t; he knew this was basically taking advantage of Oikawa. Sober Oikawa wouldn’t be acting like this right now-- but he couldn’t find it in him to care. He’d missed the feeling of his boyfriend’s lips against his own. He missed being this close to him. He missed the Oikawa who was carefree and flirty to the point of it being annoying. He missed his boyfriend.

So he kissed back, and before he knew it Oikawa had crawled onto his lap and was straddling his hips, his fingers tangled in Iwaizumi’s hair and Iwaizumi’s hands holding his waist. Their lips never parted and despite everything being ridiculously sloppy and rushed it felt too good to stop, and Iwaizumi could feel his self control dissipating with every moment.

Their lips finally parted and Oikawa stared back at him; his eyes were clouded over, though Iwaizumi couldn’t tell if it was from lust or drunkenness, and his perfectly red lips parted ever so slightly. God, he was beautiful. Iwaizumi questioned for the millionth time in his life just how he had gotten so lucky as to have Oikawa in his life.

“Hajime…” He finally spoke and Iwaizumi was almost sure he stopped breathing right there because that name just rolled so brilliantly off his lips, and he hadn’t heard it in so long. “I need you, Hajime.” Oikawa went on, sounding so needy and desperate and… _drunk as hell._

What the hell was he doing? Had he actually been that close to taking advantage of his incredibly drunk boyfriend without even thinking twice?

“Tooru.” Iwaizumi finally spoke, his voice coming out much weaker than he had intended. God, it was so hard to say no when Oikawa looked like this on top of him. Speaking of things that were hard, he could already feel Oikawa completely unapologetically pressing himself against Iwaizumi’s thigh. He swallowed thickly, working to get out the words he didn’t want to.

“We can’t. You’re drunk.” He finally managed to choke out, his voice as firm as he could be in this situation; his breathing was still heavy and his cheeks flushed dark red.

Oikawa whined right away, only pressing their bodies closer together. “Iwa-channnn… ‘m not even that drunk, please! I need to feel you insi--” Iwaizumi quickly pressed their lips together, just needing to shut Oikawa up. He was already too weak, he couldn’t hear Oikawa say things like that and possibly be able to resist him.

He pulled away from the kiss just as quickly as he had started it, and Oikawa stared down at him in determination, not saying anything. Instead, his lips quickly found the sensitive skin of Iwaizumi’s neck and he couldn’t help but tilt his head to the side, making no attempt to push Oikawa away despite everything in him telling him to stop this.

The task of resisting his boyfriend became more and more difficult and soon Iwaizumi found his eyes slipping shut and his breathing become more labored. Oikawa’s lips had traveled all the way down his neck and now he was trying to get Iwaizumi to sit up enough that he could pull his shirt off and his mouth could continue to make it’s way down his body.

He complied, letting Oikawa pull his shirt over his head and throw it to the side without argument. Their lips found each other again and Iwaizumi hummed happily, running his fingers through Oikawa’s hair as he felt a hand travel down his chest and-- _oh no_.

“T-Tooru… stop.” He groaned out and pulled Oikawa’s hand out from under his waistband where it had somehow ended up while his mind had been elsewhere. “I told you… we’re not--”

“But Iwa-chan!” He whined in that annoying, childlike way he did and Iwaizumi couldn’t even be annoyed with him because, even though he’d never admit it, he’d missed this side of his boyfriend. “Pleaseeee! I’m so hard… and so are you! Come on, please.”

Iwaizumi bit his bottom lip because, well, he wasn’t wrong. They both pretty obviously wanted each other, but he couldn’t just ignore the fact that Oikawa was anything but in control of himself right now, and he thought back to how angry he’d been when he’d left earlier… how hurt he’d been. Iwaizumi couldn’t hurt him anymore, even if the Oikawa in front of him wanted him right now, he knew it was just the alcohol talking.

“It doesn’t matter. We’re not doing anything until you’re sober. Talk to me in the morning.” He replied with finality, carefully lifting Oikawa off his lap and back onto the couch beside him, in awe of his own self control and convinced that was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life.

Iwaizumi stood up, picking up his shirt where it had been discarded onto the floor and pulling it back over his head. He went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water, also making sure to bring one over to Oikawa in some poor attempt to help sober him up. Oikawa was of course still sulking on the couch, his arms crossed over his chest and pout plastered onto his face.

“Here. You should drink some water.” Iwaizumi mumbled and set the glass on the table beside him before sitting back down beside Oikawa, because he wasn’t just going to leave him while he was like this.

They sat there in silence for a few moments before Oikawa finally spoke up.“Are you mad at me?” Oikawa asked, his voice hardly above a whisper, though it still cut through the complete silence of the room with ease. “Does Iwa-chan not want me anymore?”

  
Iwaizumi tensed up because Oikawa sounded so hurt. Dammit, he couldn’t get anything right, could he? He shook his head, willing that thought away. No. He had been right in denying Oikawa for know. He knew he would’ve felt 10 times guiltier had he let it go any farther.

“No, I’m not mad at you. And trust me, I do want you Oikawa. You don’t get it right now but you will in the morning, alright?” He scooted closer to his boyfriend, wrapping an arm around him as some form of comfort. Oikawa didn’t say anything, he just laid his head on Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

Silence refilled the apartment, but it was a comfortable silence as the both of them felt their eyelids begin to grow heavy and Iwaizumi’s grip on the other male loosened.

He was nearly asleep when Oikawa suddenly shot up and ran towards the bathroom. It was almost comical and Iwaizumi probably would’ve laughed if wasn’t still half asleep. He just watched as Oikawa stumbled down the hall, nearly falling twice as he mumbled a constant string of profanities under his breath.

Slowly, Iwaizumi got up and followed him in there, sighing as he watched Oikawa throw up into the toilet bowl. He just walked out of the bathroom and returned a moment later with the glass of water he had poured before and set it beside Oikawa, sitting down on the ground next to him.

He had hoped he’d be able to get through the night without throwing up, but that obviously wasn’t the case. Iwaizumi just gently rubbed his boyfriend’s back as he emptied the contents of his stomach, trying to ignore the overwhelming smell of vomit and alcohol that permeated the air.

When Oikawa was finally able to stop he just flopped back against the wall, staring at Iwaizumi with exhaustion clear in his eyes. “Iwa-chan… I’m sorry.”

Iwaizumi just shook his head, handing him the glass of water. “Shh… just drink.” He spoke softly, noticing the way Oikawa’s hands shook as he brought the glass up to his lips.

“I feel like shit.” He mumbled and quickly downed the glass of water, handing it back to Iwaizumi and throwing his head back against the wall a little harder than he’d intended. “Ooww…” Oikawa whined and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the pounding in his head.

Iwaizumi silently laced their fingers together and Oikawa squeezed his hand gently in return, not moving from his position on the bathroom floor. “I’m gonna get you some more water and some painkillers, alright? Just wait here.” Iwaizumi spoke softly, hating to see his boyfriend this way… if only he’d never let him leave-- he quickly snapped himself out of it. _Now is not the time for self-loathing, Hajime. Your boyfriend needs you._

He got up off the ground and headed back to the kitchen, refilling the glass and finding some ibuprofen in a cabinet somewhere. Once he returned, Oikawa had managed to open his eyes and had sat up some. He took the pills graciously and downed the remainder of the glass before holding out a hand so that Iwaizumi would help him onto his feet.

Iwaizumi pulled him off the ground in one quick movement and Oikawa fell into him as he regained his footing, laughing a little as he pushed himself off of Iwaizumi’s chest. “Sorry…” Oikawa brushed himself off and Iwaizumi grabbed onto his arm to steady him as he lead them both back to their bedroom.

“Iwa-chan, I can walk on my own you know.” Oikawa stated, though he didn’t object as Iwaizumi continued to hold onto him for good measure.

“Doesn’t seem like it.” He teased and let go once Oikawa was sitting down on the bed. It seemed like he had sobered up a little after ridding his body of some of the alcohol, though it was clear he still was out of it. Iwaizumi wondered how much he could remember right now.

“Hey, mean!” He giggled a little and laid down on the bed, sprawling out with a yawn. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but smile.

“You can’t go to sleep yet, not until you change.” He stated, already pulling some pajamas out of Oikawa’s dresser and throwing them on top of his sleepy boyfriend.

He just whined and rolled over, ignoring Iwaizumi’s request. “Too tired Iwa-chan.” He mumbled into a pillow, rolling onto his stomach.

“Oikawa I don’t care. Those clothes smell like shit, just change.” He argued, slipping into some more comfortable clothing himself.

Oikawa sighed and rolled back over, grabbing the clothes that Iwaizumi had thrown on top of him. “Iwa-chan just wants to watch me change. So perverted!” He teased as he sat up on the bed, unbuttoning his shirt and slipping on one of his favorite alien pajama tops instead. Iwaizumi just rolled his eyes, not even fazed by the teasing. It was a part of Oikawa’s behavior that he had grown used to over the years.

“Mmhm, you caught me.” He mumbled softly, slipping into the bathroom to brush his teeth as Oikawa finished changing.

“Iwa-chan…” He heard a voice call from the other room and he peeked his head around the corner once he had finished getting himself ready for bed to see just what it was his boyfriend could need now. When he saw him though, Iwaizumi’s stomach dropped. Tears were pooling at the corners of Oikawa’s eyes and he stared down at the bed as he sat there cross legged.

“Iwa-chan I’m so sorry.” He mumbled, a few tears spilling down his cheeks. Iwaizumi didn’t know what to do. Had Oikawa sobered up enough to remember what had happened earlier? Even if that was the case, what did he have to be sorry for? If anyone should be apologizing, it was him.

“Tooru…” Iwaizumi walked the rest of the way into the room and sat down beside Oikawa, pulling him into a hug. “Relax, you have nothing to be sorry for. Just lay down and go to sleep.”

Oikawa immediately objected to such an idea and pulled away from Iwaizumi, leaving him more than confused. “No! I do need to apologize… again. And I’ll apologize until you accept my apology. I’m sorry Hajime! I’m sorry I cheated on you.” His voice cracked and Iwaizumi just stared at him in silence, not sure what to say.

He remembered when Oikawa first told him about the incident how angry he had gotten, convinced that he could never forgive such a thing. But as time passed, he realized just how easy it really was to forgive, how much he simply couldn’t live without Oikawa in his life, no matter how much he hurt him-- no matter how much they hurt each other.

Oikawa had pulled his legs up to his chest and was silently sobbing to himself as Iwaizumi sat on the opposite end of the bed, still dumbfounded.

 

“Tooru… I do forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago. I’m just… not good with these kinds of things…” He trailed off, his eyes focusing on some indistinct shape on the bed sheets. “I’m sorry too. I haven’t been a very good boyfriend lately-- hell, I haven’t been a very good person lately. I’m sorry for yelling so much. I’m sorry for driving you away. I’m sorry for letting you get so drunk you forgot why you were drunk. I’m sorry for letting random people hit on you. I’m sorry for not being there for you. I’m sorry for not saying I was sorry sooner...” He trailed off and Oikawa finally looked up at him, sniffling a little as he took in everything that Iwaizumi had spit out, and then he just laughed.

“Oh Iwa-chan... “ He wiped away the tears that had fallen down his cheeks and smiled. “It’s not your fault. If I had never… been unfaithful...” Oikawa cringed even having to say the words and it was clear just how much he regretted that night. “None of this would’ve happened.”

Iwaizumi wanted to refute that-- he wanted to let Oikawa know that he shouldn’t blame himself, but he knew if he did so it would just be a never ending argument of them telling each other not to blame themselves. “Well, I forgive you. And I love you… so much. I just want things to go back to normal.” He sighed and finally looked back up at Oikawa who was just staring at him with those big, teary eyes.

“I love you too, Hajime.... and I forgive you.” Oikawa smiled just barely and crawled over to Iwaizumi, pulling him into a hug as a more tears spilled down his cheeks. Iwaizumi hoped they were happy tears.

He hugged him back, wrapping his arms so tightly around his boyfriend he was certain he must be constricting Oikawa’s breathing in some way. He couldn’t seem to care though; it felt good to have finally gotten everything off his chest, even if he was still questioning just how sober Oikawa was right now. It’d be fine if he never let go of him if it meant things could stay this way between them-- if it meant that they would never hurt each other again.

“You should get some sleep.” Iwaizumi finally mumbled, his fingers running lazily through Oikawa’s hair as his head rested on his shoulder. Oikawa just yawned a little and nodded, tightening his grip around Iwaizumi’s waist.

“Yeah ‘m tired…” He muttered and his eyes had already closed. Iwaizumi nodded and slowly began to pull himself away from Oikawa, though in his half asleep state, he quickly latched back onto Iwaizumi, looking up at his boyfriend with confused, sleepy eyes.

“Where’re ya goin’, Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi frowned when Oikawa refused to let go of him as he tried to lay him down on the bed. “I’m going in the other room, Oikawa…” He said softly, having all intentions of sleeping on the couch tonight as he had been doing for some time now. Despite both of their apologies, Iwaizumi was still unsure of exactly what state Oikawa was in right now and how he would feel if he woke up next to him in the morning.

At his explanation, Oikawa only clung to him harder, not letting Iwaizumi leave the bed. “No, Iwa-chan!” He whined and Iwaizumi wasn’t able to decipher whether it was his overly drunk whine or his overly tired whine… probably a combination of both he decided. “Please stay with me.” Oikawa pleaded, giving him the best puppy dog eyes he could manage.

He cracked, sighing and laying back down beside Oikawa, having no desire to leave anyways. “Fine. But you can’t get mad at me in the morning.” He mumbled and wrapped his arms back around his boyfriend, pulling them in close to each other. Oikawa just hummed a happy response and in no time Iwaizumi felt his body relax in his arms and he watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest as Oikawa finally drifted off to sleep.

As tired as he was, Iwaizumi didn’t let himself fall asleep yet. He let himself enjoy the simplicity of having his boyfriend pressed against him so perfectly. He let himself believe that everything would be resolved when morning finally rolled around. He let his mind wander to the better times the two of them had shared-- because in a few hours he didn’t know if the love of his life would even want to talk to him, but everything felt good right now… and that was all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry??? I didn't want to end it on too happy of a note please don't hate me.  
> Feedback and constructive criticism is always appreciated as I would like to continue improving my writing. I feel like pacing got weird in some spots. Let me know what you think, and thank you if you actually read through this shitpost of emotions.


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